24塊錢的打印紙

以前總是覺得被人家坑一點點錢無所謂啦，就當作做善事就當作因果，就當作在消除業障。從來不會覺得自己手上的錢花得特別的快，也不曾覺得錢花得快是一件會讓我緊張的事。

一餐6塊錢              隨他拉～
一支筆5塊錢          隨他拉～
一杯飲料7塊錢      隨他拉～

最近，為了還房租為了生存我真的都盡量在省吃儉用了，為了不讓父母不擔心我真的都在省吃儉用。因為每一次跟他們拿錢真的都讓我感到無比的羞恥，人20歲了還有跟他們伸手要錢！搞到最近我還一直催我妹把我爸爸給我的錢快點進給我，我知道這樣一直催他不是一件好事，好像我很錢臉這樣。講真的我也不想的，只能跟他說對不起。因為我很不好意思跟人家借錢，也盡量少跟父母拿錢了～

因此我還養成了花前後必記賬的好習慣，為了提醒自己又在花錢了，到了月尾還可以看一下自己花了多少錢，吃的方面花了多少錢、交通方面又花了多少錢。每次看了之後都特別心痛，看了後真的很痛就以上個月為例子吃的就花了快600塊錢！600！不少喔！

看了這個數目字真的有讓我嚇到，於是我更省了，早餐都在吃麵包，晚餐都在吃快熟面（沒想到我竟然會落得如此下場）還好我妹剛剛把錢進給我了，100塊錢應該可以用一個月吧～

剛剛老師發給我們一些筆記方便我們溫習，就想說把它拿到樓下去打印，要溫習起來也方便不用一直開電腦。看到價錢表寫著一張彩色5角錢再看著打印機隨著數量的增加心理越來越緊張到底有幾張，又到底會是多少錢？打印完後，拿起來厚厚的一疊算一算總共是30張。就以為是15塊錢，老闆娘看了看打印的內容跟我說給我一些折扣，總共24塊錢。對沒錯，24塊錢！我真的嚇到了，怎麼會24塊錢？原因是有一些是A4尺寸的所以一張8角錢，原本一張應該1塊錢。

現在口袋裡只剩下20多塊錢，在想我要怎么生存？！走著走著到了電梯門口，隨著電梯一樓一樓的往上升終於的到了15樓從電梯門口慢慢地走到了家門口，快要到家時一直想著24
塊錢是一個多麼有負擔的數目！我從不覺得24這個號碼很有負擔的感覺，第一次感覺到了！想著想著，眼淚不禁流了下來。哭的原因覺得現實真的很現實，覺得父母要撐起一個6個人的家庭都無怨無悔，我一個人的費用都那麼多了，他們是怎麼熬過來的？我真的越哭越厲害，坐在床上也覺得自己很無助，沒人聽得見我在哭，沒人看得見我在幹嘛，也沒人可以做我傾述的對象。我很累，我真的很累。

我只能一直祝福自己，只能跟自己說加油。朱穎逸你要加油！

前所未有的寂寞

 

窗外下着雨，仔细一看只有一座山，再仔细一看仿佛只看见近距离的空气。来自异地的我，渴望友谊、渴望自由、渴望尊重更渴望有爱。
以前总觉得一位知心朋友的离开已经是一种很寂寞的事情，现在却有了更深的体会，不止知心朋友的离开会让你感到寂寞，萍水相逢的朋友的离开也会让你觉得特别的寂寞。以往的笑声不再，以往的揪也不在了。尤其是环境真的还不能适应。


x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  xx  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x x  x  x  x  x  x


*刚刚去哭了一下

我要的很简单，我要的是能够一起疯，一起出来玩的朋友。而不是一些只会躲在家里的人。哎呀我不懂怎么讲啦，总之我很无聊很想家～～～

Another year for me to get older.

After a whole day of class, getting back to hostel, finish an Amway's talk, get back to my bed again and i fall asleep as usual on the day before my birthday. Of course i left my phone charging on my desk and turned off my data for sure. I was awake by a dream and i can't even remember what it is now!! (That's a sign of getting old right? Sad case Sob sob~~)

It was 5.55am in the very morning, i turned on my data to see whether or not he reply my message, suddenly a Facebook Messenger pop up!
Elvin Pocoyo:" Happy Birthday Choo."
Hwei Khing in wechat:"Happy birthday CHOO, All the best in your study!"
To be frank, i was really shocked! The mindset of not having birthday celebration was ingrained since I step into my college.

What happened next was... ... What do u think it is? Yes, I cried. I DID CRIED!! A sudden thought of someone reminding me I still have some friend that really know me, there are still some friend from Kelantan are still concerning me. Honestly, I manage to make some friends over here,but my FRIENDS is only up to school, it ends when i back to my hostel! SERIOUSLY!! Although I have lots of friends where i know during orientation week and my class, I felt an empty friendship where people are not really connected when they're apart. I don't know how to explain this situation, but it really made me felt lonely. I'M REALLY LONELY but a lot of them think was like I am joking.

I was all the way from Kelantan, i'm the only one who know myself very very well when my dad left me off in Penang and it is my first time to drive 200km++ distance and stay out there for more than 1 month. I missed my friends for sure.

After settle my house work, i prepared myself to wait Jing Han to fetch me to a BBQ party where no intention of celebration for my birthday, everything was just an coincident where this gathering falls on my birthday. We eat, we sing, we play, we high, we kiss and finally they smash a cake on my face =.="

After swimming and get up from the pool, a tiring feel was brought across my mind, and they sang Birthday Song and i was really really astonished!! I never never think there will be a cake for me from them since i came here only for about 1 month, ya as what predicted they smashed the cake on my cake! xD

CM Lee Lai Jian, Don't be worry la, i'm not angry on you. Tak sempat love you how can hate you? xD
But at the end, thanks for the cake thanks for the ride and thanks for the first memory in Penang! You guys are the best!! Muacks~~

A new life of mine.

My desk and all my stuff

My bed, 2 beds are available, if u wanna come u may. xD

My cute cute little towel.

3/5/2014
My dad drove me up from Kelantan to Penang with companion of his friend since my mother is not able to come over together with us. We departed at 4.30am and reached Pg via ferry from Raja Uda about 11am, as we arrived, I've waiting my host to come over from Georgetown to Tanjung Bungah that make it quite a distance. Landed everything from my car, bed, wardrobe, detergent, luggage and all my stuffs and we had been waiting for 2 hours as my host was in a traffic jam. Terry arrived after all when we started to move in, he brought us for lunch nearby to my hostel. 2pm, my dad then leave Penang, I've started my lonely life here.

My first Activity in Penang for Tzu Chi

4/5/2014
After awake from Terry's bed, we walk out for our breakfast. Everything was so different when compare with what i had experienced in Penang before this, especially the change in environment and mood. I was all the way from Kelantan, no friend with around me, things in my room was the closest things with me in Penang. I was talking alone, doing some internet surfing and last i need to arrange all my thing in order to make my room tidy. At this very day, my first Tzu Chi in Penang, introduction of Buddha's bathing ceremony that will be held at 11/5/2014. After all, i slept at 11pm.

5/5/2014

Free gift from TARUC

College main hall

As the day, this is my college commencement day. I was so nervous and started to walk to college with my housemate around. I saw a lot of HUMAN surrounding me, suddenly a guy approached me and ask me to walk to DKA as to collect our shirt. We had been summoned into the main hall of TARUC.
My first impression: Woah, college. xD
Ya, it's as simple as that. Yea, i'm in college now, finally! After my form 6 education, everything was so strange to me. As the song rose, the emcee began to speak and after several boring shows, the emcee's attitude was changed!! They started to become more and more energetic and a bunch of Student Leader ran into the hall with their own flag and we were allocated into 39 groups if i'm not mistaken. The day end with the some-how camp where we call it ORIENTATION =.="

12/5/2014
Yes, as you know, we started our classes one week right after the orientation. I missed my class during my third day!! Shit, it was really shit!! MPU, where the attendance is concern about!! OMG~~~
Waling alone to school, walking alone into study room, sitting alone in lecture hall, and sitting alone in tutorial class!! Why everything are alone??!!

Yes, as what i said before: I will survive until the very very last!! Love u guys~~~

My rapid penang one month pass

炸雞的一段記憶

只能像九把刀說的一樣，人生就是不停的戰鬥！

6年前，我們就因為我被很多人排斥而造就了他跟我的友好，但這友好始終敵不過一個小女生。

我們曾經很好，真的很好，周遭的人都以為我們兩個是情侶。每當被誤會時，他都會直接斬斷別人對我們的誤會但其實我心裡一直在偷笑。這幾年都有在跟他開玩笑的說喜歡他，雖然說是開玩笑但其實心裡不只是多麼的認真。但我不覺得我們會在一起，畢竟我知道他也有他喜歡的人而他喜歡的人也那麼巧是我好朋友，5年的戰友！真的對他不敢有任何的遐想。前一陣子開始執行吃素計劃的我，有幾度很想吃肉，也把自己的感受po在臉書上這時他就會過來說：“走，去吃炸雞！” 也會跟我說：“CANNOT!!” 讓我真的感到很窩心啦～

直到最近一位小女生的出現導致了他漸漸傾向於她，小女生的要求百求必應，甚至於我們倆的約會還被他利用成為小女生逃學的幫兇！而且還是他要求我帶那一位小女生一起，就這樣他成了我們的電燈泡，哦不，應該是我成了他們的電燈泡=.="

最離譜的是他不知發生了什麼事會到吉隆坡後就完全不理我了，最後還unfriend我。幹！這是怎麼一回事？我做錯了什麼？我到底是怎樣？你也知道我的個性，都已經習慣了那麼多年怎麼突然間會不習慣呢？到底是怎樣？我什麼都不知道，我只知道的是我失去了一位很關心我的人，很關心很關心我的一個人。

"nevermind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best to you too. Don't forget me, I'll beg I'll remember u said. Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

只希望你會幸福，只希望你會懂得什麼叫友誼，只希望你可以分辨是非黑白。
只希望你還會繼續叫我吃炸雞。畢竟我們倆個都是男的

#MH370墜機事件【3/8/2014】

人生最難的的就是有一個跟自己同在的家庭，跟自己並肩作戰、面對一切的家庭。

政府『草菅人命』的行為是無法被原諒的，每一個生命都有自己的家庭 每一個生命都有他背負的重任。為了一己私慾就間接性的殺害了那麼多的人 該當何罪？

試想想墜機的那一刻每位遇難者心裡在想什麼？

“發生了什麼事？”
“我不想死！”
“我還有很多事還沒完成啊！”
“我的家人， 你  在  哪  裡？”

只能說，你就認錯吧！
還遇難者家屬們一個公正合理的交待吧！

我的傷口很痛啊～～

四年前的傷，第一次跌摩托也見證了我初戀的開始。
傷口的疤痕依然還在，每看一次就讓我想起他對我的第一次。
10月29號。